Category Archives: study

Back2Brunei, 27thNOV

Hu Yanbin – Butterfly

It was 2 a.m. when I woke up from my “short nap”. I had fallen asleep at 11 p.m. trying to keep awake chatting with Zhilong, but I can’t make it.. Today is such a tiring day (actually more to the sleepy part), favored by the dull weather in Singapore. The thunder woke me up from my afternoon nap, and now I’m awake staring at the computer screen..

I chat up my old friend in MSN, it seems that his condition with his girlfriend is not getting any worse, however it is not getting any better either (I wouldn’t be surprised if he cheats; he has affirmed that he may). So much for a poor guy dating a rich girlfriend. It’s not that I look down on poor guys (I’m not very wealthy either), but somehow I feel there should be some balance in addition to the chemistry and romance.  There should be a level of understanding and commitment to the relationship, in respect to the fact that his girlfriend may head to Australia for further studies. Distance used to be a problem for me, but other than the random concurrent worries I have for Zhilong, I do give him a level of trust. I have expectations for him not just as a girlfriend, but I do respect our differences and cherish our similarities.

After a while, my friend said the picture of Zhilong and I was cute, and logged off, saying he had to sleep.. I guess I was lucky to catch him online, especially when he’s so busy all the time with his photography job. On going back to Brunei, I also do have concern about how much I will miss Zhilong and Zhuoyan, my self-proclaimed little brother on-line. It’s tiring teaching them English sometimes, but I have confidence on prevailing in my mission. 


Latest events

Ended exams and had dinner with classmates, 23rd Nov

Attended Work Holiday (US) Info Seminar at school, 24th Nov

Booked e-Tickets, 25th Nov


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No longer a fairy tale

It is another sleepless night. I couldn’t help but peek at the sweetest mementos in Cherry and her boyfriend’s album. I am filled with admiration for the two-year couple.

What about Peishan and Zhilong?

I had an idea on what to do about his studies and asked him to call me as I had a suggestion on what he could do in order to get a good certification and a job later. Study TOEFL, or IELTS in Singapore sounded like a good idea.

He was his usual, cheerful self. I felt so glad to hear his voice and breath over the phone again. I went with my suggestion for him to be able to improve his English, which was his dream, by studying English in Singapore. In my opinion, this was a better idea than studying in China as he’d get more chances to use his command of English.

He had a story to tell. He began by telling me he met a funny guy, and then paused. I had the cheek to ask him if the guy was homosexual.

He affirmed it. He said the guy had stolen a kiss from him. I wanted to laugh, but at the same time I also felt jealous. I was jealous of the guy, having had what I had always wanted. Life was a tough struggle as I had to sit by and wait for the chance to meet my own boyfriend. I had to learn how to be patient, and  to be a better person and improve my command of the Chinese language (as well as my technical skills, and interpersonal skills for personal reasons, mainly).

Peishan will always love you, Zhilong. So smile and be happy! We will work hard for a better future, and let your dreams come true.

Yan Wei Die by Fishleong

Left click to listen with the applet and right click to download!

(edit: it was a joke just to make me jealous)

Yesterday’s | 28 June

My dear, I tried to help me out with my studies, but we couldn’t figure out how to score for the essay topic ‘Barriers to Entry & Exit: SG Power‘. Mostly because I wasn’t familiar enough with the issues on SG Power. I’ve never heard of it before this and a bit confused on the relation to the topic itself; it’s so monopoly/oligopoly-like that I can’t figure what strategies it employs for pricing etc. Since there are no competitors, how can there be, for e.g. Predatory Pricing? and I’m not clear either on what regulations are there in Singapore to support it other than it has ties with the gov?

(Choked on $3.50 Cheese Fries@KFC which I had craving for. OMG, back in Bru’ it’s only $2.50! and the same taste, whatsoever! But I’m not very updated about their value meals as I haven’t been there for quite awhile.. more than a year I haven’t gone back! I’m soooo homesick..! They must have the Mushroom beef/chix burger meal now. In the past, it was popular for Zinger Burger.)

Anyway, got to pick a few more topics for essays before my classmate, N comes back to Singapore. So preparing myself before I can do a group study with her.

No Photo-copy Memorization, Lah! ♥

I have been silent recently…
No mood to talk over the phone sometimes. Dump my phone in a corner in the unused room where I keep my school books. 
Don’t know what to do. Don’t know how to change my routine.
I know I want to do well but I’m not confident enough to change everything. I can’t clog my head with details and expect myself to remember everything. I wish I could, though.
Tried cramming myself with vitamins but it just doesn’t work. Turns into egested material 😦 and get flushed away…
Now I realize it’s not about mimicking the “light borrower” of the olden times. It’s all about carrying yourself the way you want to. I can’t change my self-routine of studying. I can only accommodate my routine to suit my own lifestyle, by doing enough revision and increasing the amount of time spent per time. I can’t coop myself up too much. I can’t stare at a book the whole day and expect myself to remember what I have learned by sitting in front of the book. Gone are the days when people memorize book after book of information. Instead, here is memorization+apply. Apply what you understand, as there is no RIGHT or WRONG answer! ♥
Thank you for being at my side but please understand I need time to be alone as well when I’m down or feeling lonely.  ♥ ♥ ♥