Category Archives: learning to love

All sorts of things

All sorts of things happen in my life. Firstly, the most wonderful thing of all was when I started my story with Zhilong Chen, my online buddy who’s an IT student in Genetic School, Beijing University of Business. Then, a lot of things happened shortly after that.

Exams are coming in two weeks’ time.

I lost weight, finally, after weeks and weeks of procrastination. And of course, I have “friends” to help me with this.


I bought novels.

My classmate did a tarot reading for me, and it has affected me much.

I realized how much Zhilong is like me when I’m 21. Being hurt, under peer pressure, having others say things behind his back.

I don’t know whether to trust card readings or not. Miracles happen, but I believe I am still in charge of my own life, and who I choose to be with. When I left my ex-boyfriends, I was only hoping for a better future. Given the chance, I will not let him go this time. Chenjie said I’m silly to trust my life with cards, but I am just afraid.

A girl with green hair in the MRT

Greenhaired "Cosplay" Girl

 

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Getting better? | 4th July

>Time to pursue religion again. Don’t know if I’m getting better or not. I couldn’t wake up this morning at all. Another night slept at 5:30 am. Revised a bit. I don’t know what to expect anymore from my life. Let this be a lesson to me learned, never to trust a guy with my heart again, like in the Last Christmas song (Wham). & Hopefully this reason will be a good one for pushing away any guys who approach me in the future, if there will be any (Hope Not!!). I told L we can be friends, but I cannot give him any promises. He said O.K.

Friends only. I feel relieved at that. Thanks goodness. 🙂 I just can’t see myself romantically involved again. It would only weaken my soul.

My sis M brought Mum, Eliz and I to Poccolini, the Central (Clarke Quay, Singapore). Whoaaa, $30-40+ bags at $12-23. Never had a “craving” for clothes or bags, but I just felt I needed one. Especially when I is not going to get me anything. Obviously he loves someone else already. I’m not worth anyone’s attention, I believe. Let me learn to love myself, and let my family be my sanctuary.