Category Archives: idiocy

All sorts of things

All sorts of things happen in my life. Firstly, the most wonderful thing of all was when I started my story with Zhilong Chen, my online buddy who’s an IT student in Genetic School, Beijing University of Business. Then, a lot of things happened shortly after that.

Exams are coming in two weeks’ time.

I lost weight, finally, after weeks and weeks of procrastination. And of course, I have “friends” to help me with this.


I bought novels.

My classmate did a tarot reading for me, and it has affected me much.

I realized how much Zhilong is like me when I’m 21. Being hurt, under peer pressure, having others say things behind his back.

I don’t know whether to trust card readings or not. Miracles happen, but I believe I am still in charge of my own life, and who I choose to be with. When I left my ex-boyfriends, I was only hoping for a better future. Given the chance, I will not let him go this time. Chenjie said I’m silly to trust my life with cards, but I am just afraid.

A girl with green hair in the MRT

Greenhaired "Cosplay" Girl

 

Utterly Confused?

Random Thoughts
of Idiocy and Confused Notions

  • I’m over my ex, but am I the type of person who can commit at all? Or should I say, am I the ‘valid’ type a guy would want to be his gf?
  • ‘JK’ he is just a very close friend, but I seem to take his matters very seriously, like his personal problems, his health and well-being, and his interests. Am I just being an annoying BusyBody?
  • Do I have a crush on NiCc? He has a gf already, so I’ll just keep it this way. Yes, I may visit him sometimes, but it’s not worth it to destroy a friendship over some stupid confused notions I have rumbling in my brain & heart. Also, I have a commitment problem, in case I forgot. I’m not good enough to be anyone’s gf yet, until I change. And change is writtten in the symbol TRIANGLE. Which means, change shape?? 

NOTE: Just thoughts. Real feelings may vary in comparison, or have randomized differences. LaLaLa~

And it all ends up | July 1

…to Zero. Perhaps, I will not get myself involved in a relationship again. Love hurts? Am not stupid enough to go cutting myself again after the last incident,
The marks may be light as compared to an actual self-destructionist, but they’ll be etched into my memory as my flesh + blood I got from my parents.
You treated me well for the past few days, forgave me for neglecting you, but you hurt me so much on today July 1st, 2010. Firstly I had cousins over, and secondly I wasn’t ready to go to a Christian cell group meeting, I didn’t feel like it and you pushed me by threatening to break off since I didn’t want this relationship. Next, you threatened to find a prosty if I didn’t arrive in 20 mins, then you made me run from the MRT Station to 2 different Shell Stations and back.
I was so angry with you I broke your ATM Card. I hated it when you used money on prosties. I wanted to take your money away. I pushed you because I was unhappy with you doing this to me. In the end, what did I get? You found a girl to sleep with you and I got bruises when we fought.
This bruise may be nothing, but it is, emotionally. Anyway I DON’T KNOW how to face the world when you have slept with someone else. Just a small price to pay for my own stupidity. An ugly girl with a horrible life, and a past to cast away. Who can I trust in the future?