Category Archives: all smiles

Finally, forced myself to update.

Mr.Z is getting married soon, the first step is matchmaking, an action I always found to be very traditional and unrealistic in modern-day society.

And I’m happy for him….

It’s been some time since I last posted. A lot of stuff has been floating in my mind. I realized Mr.Z and I were more suitable as friends, and that in fact, I don’t need a second half at all, just a companion. Then I got to know a new circle of friends and lots of things changed. Sometimes, I feel that I really dread studying. I feel my head’s full of stuff when I study. So I like to hang out with my new friend, P. I think he’s really funny sometimes ‘coz he’s a newbie to English. I always laugh when he self-introduces himself. And I force him to talk in English to the cashiers when we’re out shopping. And I have a completely new wardrobe now… When I look at my old photos on Facebook, it seems the old me and new me are worlds apart, though there’s no significant age difference.. .


It’s back to school for me, Peishanz as my new semester starts. I have a lot to learn as I approach my final year.

Hello to another funny day. After somewhat six hours of sleep, I wake up and begin the whole procedure of preparing for school,waiting at the bus-stop and traveling. However, I did not time myself correctly and arrived later than I should in school.

So, I have a lecturer who thinks he is 22, and that everyone should raise their hands high when asked for a show of hands. He goes “Mainland China students, be prouddddd!!” when he asks who are from PRC and they do not raise their hands high enough for him to see. And I also realized that I have to touch up on my Chinese idioms when the lecturer mentioned a Chinese idiom by Sun Zi, which I failed to understand when he first said it in Chinese, and then literally translated it to English.

As usual, I have my mobile or iPod Touch 2 on QQ during classes, whenever the lecturer is telling jokes or when I’m not writing my own notes. And then, in the midst of the lesson, I hear a BEEP BEEP from someone else who forgot to silence her QQ. I was wondering who it was, as a group of us were on QQ at the same time! I took a snapshot of myself in the classroom during the break and sent it to my boyfriend. ^^

During the break, I saw C.W., my rich Shanghainese classmate. I thought she was funny to ask the lecturer for permission to leave 20 minutes before the class officially ended, as she had a sudden stomachache. The lecturer then bade her get a medical certificate, to which she replied she had one. After she left, the lecturer cast us a comedical look and “grumbled”, “I should have eaten more during the break, then I could get a stomachache too. Oh well”. The look plastered on his face was by no doubt, sooooo funny.

Just before my lesson ended, there was another funny event of the day. My friend L.L invited me out as I had suggested a KTV session before I left for Brunei. However, just as my lesson ended, his water pipe burst and he had to wait for the technician, and when the technician arrived, he had the wrong tools. In the end I was too tired to go out, and I had to go to the bank, but when I arrived, the bank had closed  as I had mistaken the closing time to be 5:30 pm instead of 4:30 pm. Well, there’s always another day for everything!

Funny Weird Day

Today it is an extremely weird and funny day. I had a quarrel with my mum over money; she didn’t want me to travel to Singapore through Malaysia as it is dangerous at night and the flight is at 10.30 pm.Eventually she bought me an one-way ticket to a direct flight with stopover which ended in Singapore itself.

In the afternoon, I went with my niece and nephew to the mall in Gadong, which is the center of the capital’s activities in Brunei. We sang four songs at the arcade K-box, starting with S.H.E’s One Blink to Ten Thousand Years, J.J’s Killer, and I taught them to sing Butterfly by Hu Yanbin and J.J’s Mummy. Then, we stayed at the arcade for a while as my nephew wanted to play games, and we went to have fries and waffles at the food court. Following that, we walked around the mall for a while and then we went to a cybercafe to play games. I am terrible with games, so I experimented with the cybercafe’s webcam for a while. The funniest thing was that I webcammed with one of my bf’s friends for less than five minutes, my niece said his teeth were nice, and then I ran out of sufficient time.

All sorts of things

All sorts of things happen in my life. Firstly, the most wonderful thing of all was when I started my story with Zhilong Chen, my online buddy who’s an IT student in Genetic School, Beijing University of Business. Then, a lot of things happened shortly after that.

Exams are coming in two weeks’ time.

I lost weight, finally, after weeks and weeks of procrastination. And of course, I have “friends” to help me with this.

I bought novels.

My classmate did a tarot reading for me, and it has affected me much.

I realized how much Zhilong is like me when I’m 21. Being hurt, under peer pressure, having others say things behind his back.

I don’t know whether to trust card readings or not. Miracles happen, but I believe I am still in charge of my own life, and who I choose to be with. When I left my ex-boyfriends, I was only hoping for a better future. Given the chance, I will not let him go this time. Chenjie said I’m silly to trust my life with cards, but I am just afraid.

A girl with green hair in the MRT

Greenhaired "Cosplay" Girl


So near yet so far: Some thoughts.

aka letter to Zhirui Loh
As the bus circled Toa Payoh on my way to school, I thought “so near yet so far”. I recall you work at Toa Payoh. 
I’m all alone now. I’m happy. And you’re happy too. That’s what makes me happy as well, and the engine that keeps me running, despite my loneliness in being single. 
I extract my earphones from my bag and slip the silicon into my ears, immersing myself within the deadliest music I own. Music, to me, is the eternal drug for my pain and sorrow. It makes me feel a different person altogether, and whole again.
Over the years, I saw you transform. You are no longer the lively RP you used to be. Naughty in some way, your camp tales would intrigue me. I loved your car rides. We would spend the whole day together and do practically nothing at all, but talk and talk non-stop, and stare into each others’ eyes. Sadly, we had to grow up and move on with our lives, and leave our youthful dreams far behind.
Perhaps we were just too young at that time. You listen to me most of the time now, and only talk when I have something to ask, or you would just nod and smile at my countless tales. Work stress and exposure to harsh working life has contributed to your passiveness and passionless-ness. 
However, as time passes, I discover its the physical bond that grows in intensity the more we spend time with each other. And the emotional connection diminishes, as if they work antagonistically. Maybe that is what keeps us from feeling for each other enough to start over. I felt we would be better as friends. Also, I don’t believe in unconditional love  or love at first sight. You agreed on that as well regarding yourself.
Perhaps we should work together to achieve our life priorities: a common goal. To achieve our full potential, either in the workplace or in studies. I love and like you, but it’s just not that way. It’s more of a friend thing, like what I have for Doudou. 
I want to be your emotional supporting pillar, your engine that keeps you going.
And this will be the very first thing perhaps that I put a substantial amount of effort in.
No giving up, Mr. Loh! I trust in you that you will be someone big someday, someone of high ranking and financial independence. 
I stop writing as the bus comes to a halt. I know I am arriving in school soon, in just a few bus stops. I smile, and I know nothing will stop me this time. I  know I can’t love you as I did three years ago, but I know I will always support you.