Tuesday | 22 June 2010 | Studying over de weekend

Finally, last day of the semester!!
I felt so sleepy in class today, as if the clouds had settled on the top of my head.
Bought a soft toy for $5.00. Adorable, isn’t it? This is the first toy I actually bought for myself. Wish it could be you who bought it for me, but you’ve already gotten me a little doggy toy. Miss you 🙂
I’m not pretty, but I seem to like taking photos quite alot.. I hope I break the habit before I’m labeled an “ugly camwhore“. Sometimes, I do wonder.. Is life really a ‘facade‘? Why do I have to pretend so much that I’m someone I’m not? I imagine I’m cute, pretty and have lots of friends, but I’m just the opposite. Other than you and a few female friends, I’m afraid I have noone else. Guys treated me like crap in the past, and I’ve ‘burned’ them out of my friends list, blocked them off Facebook and MSN for their minor/major offenses, and built imaginary voodoo dolls of them in my mind.
If only everyone could be honest to me, and tell me that I’m not pretty, and that cute equals adorable in a fat way.. I know I must diet someday, by replacing meals with protein drinks instead. But I still love food too much to forgo meals. 
I wish you wouldn’t be so jealous with my over-friendliness/socialization, and that one day, you will be liked by all, that includes my family. 🙂 I’m persevering at the moment, letting my mum nag at me tho. My sis doesn’t care, she just knows that she has warned me and that’s all. I have to be responsible that it’s my fault my family can’t really accept you after what you’ve done for me. As I said, I have neither beauty nor brains. I can’t expect so much out of you. I hated your previous jobs, happy that you are considering ‘partnership.’ (I can’t really find the right term for it, despite being a business student)
(I feel guilty for lecturing your ex-colleague but at the same time, I feel I did the right thing by letting him know how sinful he is for having done this to you.)
(I really love you, can you hear me?)
And I was too overconfident over certain things, the thing about Ai Ling and then… Aiya. But I really feel happy today that you’re as free as a bird. I thought you would get mad at me, but in fact you didn’t..

(Note: Names changed for benefit of public viewing)

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